5 days ago..
It was my 19th birthday. I was happy. I celebrated my birthday with my family,friends..and Krusty? Yeah, we haven't seen each other for a long time.I acted strange that time. I couldn't talk or even say HI. And he did the same. Well..that's us. Maybe,It takes time to..feel comfortable again. (actually, I'm still blaming myself). OK ENOUGH. :)
Those days that passed were incredible. I didn't wrote for awhile coz I've been putting too much pressure on myself. I cried. I laughed. Sometimes..I feel 'WHAT?' about myself. I just.. argh.
But then, I realized that.. maybe I'm still knowing myself.
Sometimes..I think that .. "how will I be able to know myself, If I'm always at home? How can I learn different lessons in life?". Then..why can't I choose contentment? I wanted to be.. but I can't.
So today onwards.. I'm 19. Should I drink beers? Should I go to disco? Should I put make up on my face? Should I...become a proper TEENAGER? But wait.. I think, I'm just rushing myself to experience something like those teenagers in movies. (laughs) I dunno.
Maybe.. this year onwards. I will try to get better. I wanna understand my life and to explore new things that others will able to be with me to have fun, not to destroy.
I miss that person who became a biggest part of me last year. But now, I can't tell him that. This year.. I hope that we'll become better.
"We all want to see things get better. But where you are right this minute doesn't have to disturb you. You can choose to believe that God is working and things are changing, and you will see the result of it in due time.
Life is all about the CHOICES we make, so choose contenment and satisfaction every single day of your life."
After I read these.. I want to feel contented. I know,I made a lot of mistakes before..and I might make another again someday..but I want to TRY to be better. I'm going to try.
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